Letters to Kah Yen: The Nine Months

Dear Kah Yen,

You did not make a big announcement when you come. When I found out that I am pregnant, you are nearly 8 weeks old.

There is no sign of morning sickness, no vomiting, no nauseaness. I had none of these common pregnancy symptoms at the early stage. Only 5-6 weeks into the pregnancy I became extremely emotional, without knowing that it is the pregnancy hormone change. Those days I was very negative about my work, thinking that’s the worst job one could ever has and gives you no prospects at all. I also felt very lonely and very in need of more love. Your daddy has just quitted his job in Singapore and went to Malaysia to work for 3 months. I missed him a lot. One weekend I went down to KL to visit Daddy, Daddy made me try his favorite Penang Laksa. It is supposed to be very nice but the spice certainly does not go along with a pregnant woman’s tummy, so I felt terrible after eating it, and also felt terrible that I must have made your Daddy feel really bad.

Physically there isn’t any change from the outside yet. I continued my weekly jogging. I usually run for about an hour without much a problem, but that few times something just felt not right in the stomach. I struggled to finish the run and couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with my body.

The emotional hormone, the unusual tiredness during jogging, and also the growing appetite and cravings all point to one common suspect – pregnancy. However, I quickly shook off this idea from my head and refused to do any test. Why? It’s because we have not planned to start a family yet and we have done all the necessary protection. I just don’t think it is possible and don’t want to accept a single possibility of it. It must be something else.

Finally, in an attempt to rule out the possibility, I bought the pregnancy test kit, and the result is positive.

It is a big BANG for both of us. We did not plan to start a family so early. Our marriage has just started and we still need time to build on it. We have not saved enough to buy our first house. Daddy just quitted his job a month ago and has not landed on another steady one. Both of us are still young, I have just passed 25. We still have dreams of traveling around the world – both of us love backpacking. We couldn’t process this news very well. It came like a big storm, thundering and all windy, for a while we don’t know how to move forward.

The rainbow did not appear right after the storm, but peaceful weather does come our way. After the initial struggle, and talking with some older couple friends, we started to embrace the pregnancy. We can’t believe we are going to be parents. We started to see you as the biggest gift of our lives. And we know that although you have changed the track of our lives forever, you will bring great joy and blessing to us.

Mummy & Kah Yen @ 37 weeks

The rest of the nine-month is filled with excitement, joy and expectations. We started regular visits to the clinics for check-up. Our gynae used to be your Daddy’s aunt’s gynae, so guess how old and experienced he is, which also means he is overly popular. We usually spent a whole afternoon waiting for our turn to be checked, the check up lasted no more than 20 mins. We also enrolled ourselves in prenatal classes conducted by very famous B. B. Wong at Thomson Medical Center. Her class is supper popular and we are very lucky to have called at just the right time. She is funny, experienced and passionate about childbirth and childcare. Her class is never boring. And she also makes sure the husband will be actively involved in the class too. That’s how your Daddy learnt to give you a bath and change your diaper. 

While B. B. Wong’s class focuses more on childbirth and childcare, we are also very fortunate to be included in a lesson group volunteered by a couple from our church, also friends of your daddy.  The lesson is called ‘Growing Kids God’s Ways (GKGW)”, also commonly known as “BabyWise’ by the same author. It is centered on Parent Directed Feeding (PDF) and emphasizes a lot on building a feed/wake/nap routine for baby to raise a healthy baby, a healthy family. This lesson is truly God-sent. I would say that much of my confidence being a mum is a result of these lessons.

Daddy is also getting more and more excited with your arrival. He talked and read to you every night. He bought CDs to play to you. He wrote letters to you on our shared journal. He made breakfast on weekends so that I can sleep in a little more. He also accompanied me for swimming every week till my swimming suit can’t fit any more.

All shopping was done, your nursery was set up, and a date was fixed for me to have Caesarean section because you are in breech position. We had also made wishes of which part of you will be more like Daddy or Mummy. Daddy wished you will have Mummy’s lips while I claimed you would have your Daddy’s sparkling eyes, Daddy’s tall nose, and Daddy’s thick and black and naturally curl hair.

And we can’t wait for your arrival.

Love,
Mummy