Wednesday 26 September 2012

Sweet Kah Yen

I love taking afternoon naps with Kah Yen on Sundays. It is a treat for both of us, for she gets to sleep on Mummy's bed, and I get to take my only afternoon nap of the week, which is a rare commodity, with her so close to me. We are not cuddling each other in our sleep though, if you imagine it it's very nice but in reality it's quite the opposite, you know how babies roll and kick when they sleep. So the truth is I always sleep at the outer edge of the bed and leave the rest two-thirds of the space to her, though my size should be more than three times hers.

We don't lie down and fall asleep together. If we do that she will be over excited and turn the naptime into playtime instead. Usually I will sneak in and lie beside her only after she is fast asleep. We could sleep for almost two to three hours together on average.

Last Sunday Daddy joined us too because he rushed some freelance work till late the previous night. There is no way our bed can fit all three of us comfortably. So Daddy pulled out a mattress and slept on the floor in the same room.

I was sleeping soundly when I felt some movement beside me. Kah Yen must have woken up. Judging from my still so sleepy and drowsy state I reckon I have only fallen asleep for about one hour, which says Kah Yen woke up earlier than usual. "Never mind, let her lie down and play while I sleep for another half an hour more", I thougt so and I did not open my eyes. Oh I forgot to mention that when I came in to lie down, I must have taken her Piglet and wrapped my arm around it to fall asleep. 

So as I was drifting back to sleep again, I felt her move towards me and pull her Piglet out from under my arm. I opened my eyes and yes it was her. And guess what she did? When she saw me opening my eyes, she quickly put her right pointing finger on her lips and uttered "Shh..", How cute and sweet the way she did it. And she did not make another sound afterwards. Though she did not say anything but I could imagine what was in her mind: "Shh...Sorry Mummy I woke you up. You can go back to sleep, and Daddy was still sleeping too. So let's not make any sound."

I smiled at her and blinked my eyes. She smiled and blinked back. Our usual silent tricks. I was quite awake by now. I thought of teasing her a bit, so I took Piglet and put on my arm again. And as I expected, she took it back immediately. Her soft toys are all very dear to her and she always make sure everyone of them is with her when she sleeps. She won't allow anyone to take them away.

After taking back her Piglet, she went on to play with other things on the bed quietly, while I closed my eyes again. Ah I really needed to nap another half an hour or 15 minutes more, for I still felt very tired.

I dozed off again. A few minutes must have passed when I felt something soft and fluffy touching my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Kah Yen putting her little bear on my arm. This little bear is a new addition to her soft toys, given by our Nanny just two days ago. She put it there for a while - maybe two minutes or so - then she took it back.

I can imagine if she can express, she would say "Mummy, I can't give you my Piglet, but you can have this bear for two minutes, all right?"

What a sweet girl! My heart suddenly felt so warm and happy. Yes two minutes is enough, for me to cuddle the bear for a while, to lie down beside her a little longer, to linger in the sweetness of the air till a broad smile emerges on my face, and most importantly, to thank God for such a beautiful child He has given to me.


Monday 24 September 2012

How does Kah Yen say hello to a cat?

I have never liked cats in my whole life. Actually I am scared of them. Firstly it is something to do with their eyes, always so deep and mysterious, and the way they stare at you is like they are ready to attack you anytime. Then it is their screaming, have you ever heard cats screaming in the middle of the night like a baby crying? That really makes my hair all stand. My fear of cat was little helped by the myth I heard in my childhood from folks in my hometown, they said if a cat jumps over a dead body, the dead body will get up and walk. I have never seen a dead body walk, but I have kept away from cat ever since.

I didn't allow my own dislike of cats stop Kah Yen getting to know them though. In fact as to most babies, cat was one of the first animals Kah Yen got to know and one of the first words she spoke, because it frequently appeared in picture books like "Goodnight Moon" and "The Napping House" and more. Also, if you live in a typical old neighborhood in Singapore, you know how many stray cats there are. Every time we go out of our house, we will surely meet one or two. Every time we pass by it, Kah Yen will point and call "Mao mao" excitedly and will generously blow a few kisses. Sometimes I will let her walk close to them but always with a safe distance in between them, for I am afraid she may touch the cats and they may attack her suddenly, for hygiene reason too, but mostly it's the attacking part.

I never told her to stay away from cats because "They are scary" or "They are dirty" though. I don't want to instill such adult stereotype to a young child. Cats are lovely to her, and so be it.

So now she is more mobile, she is not satisfied with just saying "Hello" to a cat from a distance. She will go all the way to show friendliness to her little friend.

Yesterday we were walking in the neighborhood park. When she saw a cat far away, she quickly ran across the field towards it. From the photo you can see how far she has run away from where I stand.  


Then she squatted down when she was near to it, just to say hello I presume. 


The cat was sleeping and did not respond to her. So she walked a little nearer.


And bent a little lower, hopefully the cat can hear her this time. Meanwhile, afraid of any impending danger, I quickly came after her, in a standby distance.


Okay, there was still no response from the cat. Mummy said we should look at people face-to-face when we talk. So let's do it. "Hello!"


And maybe even eye-to-eye. "Hello!!!!"


With that, the cat opened its eyes suddenly and instinctively stretched its legs, towards the direction of Kah Yen. And I swear she actually thought the cat wants to shake hand with her. She was almost going to touch its claw when I jumped forward and grabbed her hand. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I held her hand so tight so that she won't feel mine trembling.

That's how enthusiastically Kah Yen says hello to a cat and that's how scared of cat I am!

Wednesday 19 September 2012

The most embarrasing library trip ever

Last Sunday afternoon we went to the library again, as part of our fortnightly library trips. Kah Yen loves to go to the library. The moment we reached the front porch, she would let go of my hand and dash into the glass door. Once inside, we can leave her to her own devices in the kids section, while I browse for children's books and husband stays at the magazine and video corner.

Things went on well as usual. Till a moment when I felt extremely quiet around me. I turned around and Kah Yen was not in sight. I left the aisle and went to search for her.

There at the open area with small round reading tables and chairs, I found Kah Yen, a boy and a female library officer stood facing each other and engaged in a conversation, mainly with the officer looking down at Kah Yen and saying something. Interesting, thought I. Did Kah Yen just acquaint herself with some bigger friends? I don't know she has such excellent social skills. Both surprised and delighted, I walked towards them. Half way, I heard the conversation. The officer was asking Kah Yen "Where is your mommy? Why are you pulling books off the shelves?" I halted immediately upon hearing where is your mommy. I saw Kah Yen looking up to her, innocent and stunned. I doubt she understood half of what the officer was saying. Then all of them saw me coming. The officer told me to watch her after confirming I am the mother because she was pulling books randomly off the shelves onto the floor. I quickly made my apology on behalf of Kah Yen and on behalf of myself, and brought her away. Apparently the boy found Kah Yen pulling books onto the floor so he brought her to the library officer and she was interrogating her! 

So my 22-month old just got interrogated by a library officer! I am almost sure when the officer saw me, her eyes read "So this is the irresponsible, over-protective, and spoiling-the-kid-for-nothing-good young mother!" and it made me feel so little. So for our next half an hour in the library I am sure I was more scared of seeing her again than Kah Yen, for she continued to pull the books while I turned my eyes left and right and left again all the time.

If that's all what happened during our trip, it wouldn't be so bad. However, the most embarrasing moment had yet to come.

I was still browsing through more picture books, while Kah Yen continued touching and pulling books at a shelf across mine, and at the end of the aisle sat a boy and a girl between 6-7 years old reading. Out of a sudden I heard an unusual sound, something you don't normally hear in public places. And clearly it was from Kah Yen. I turned around and I saw her, standing still and her body stiff as rock, her hands clinching to the edge of the bookshelf, her face blushing and perspiring at the same time, and she went "Mmm! ...... Mmmmm! ...... Mmmmmmmm!" Yes she was...... poo-ing! Right in front of the two kids! She wasn't potty trained yet but sometimes when we happen to catch her "getting into the business" at home, we will seat her at the potty and teach her to push by making the sound "Mmm!..Mmmm!" She clearly got the wrong message that the louder her sound is, the stronger is her push and the sooner the poo will come out! The girl who was reading looked up from her book at Kah Yen, then at me, and back and forth, clearly disturbed by the sound Kah Yen made and was anxious at what was going to come out soon. I could almost see her hand was going to cover her nose but she resisted doing so. Such a well-mannered girl! I don't have many options. I couldn't bring her to the toilet 'coz she was not trained yet, I couldn't ask her to go to a more private corner while she was in the middle of it. So I shouted coolly across the aisle "Kah Yen, when you are done, let mommy know I will come and change you." Then I pretended to get really busy looking at my book again, not daring to meet the eyes of the little girl anymore. What an embarrasing moment. And the smell that followed minutes after only made it worse, by ten times at least.

There ended our library trip. Till date I am still contemplating whether Kah Yen can understand if I tell her that next time she should not do her business right in front of other people. And if it's really an emergency then she should do it quietly and dicreetly, and act as if nothing is happening. I guess she won't. So for the next library trip, I am going to keep her in a more secluded corner, you know, just in case she has another unscheduled private agenda.

Monday 17 September 2012

How to ride a new swing?

I am not even sure if this structure in the playground should be called a swing. All I know is when you stand on it and move your body up and down, it bounces up and down  like a mechanical spring.

Kah Yen certainly knows that too. Here is she showing you how to ride and enjoy this "Swing".

First, you climb on to it and squat on your heels.


Then you bounce up. You feel the thing moves a little.


You quickly bend down your kneels and bounce up again. It almost worked.


Follow its movement and now you can enjoy it as much as me!


More.


And more!




Thursday 13 September 2012

It's Kah Yen's Ah Pooh

Kah Yen brings her baby pooh with her everywhere we go, yes I mean everywhere. Every time we are about to step out of the house, Kah Yen will without fail say "Take Ah Pooh!". Both husband and I had the experience of running from the bus stop back to our house (by staircase) to take Ah Pooh in a 100-meter sprint speed because we were rushing to go out and we have forgotten to take Ah Pooh.

Because we bring it with us everywhere we go, we sometimes get into trouble. Other babies and toddlers  will try to snatch it away from Kah Yen!

The first time, while we were sitting at the parents corner during a church service, Kah Yen was playing on the floor with paper and crayon, baby pooh was sitting inside the stroller. Sitting behind us was another family with a girl a few months older than Kah Yen, she was playing with something else initially but suddenly saw Ah Pooh and came forward to take it. It happened so sudden I did not know how to react. I reckon it was okay to let her hug it for a while since Kah Yen was playing with crayon anyway, and also it seems inappropriate for me to snatch it away from her. So I let her have it and the next I knew, Kah Yen was looking at her and was full of tears! She was a mild girl, not the type that will walk right to the girl and take Ah Pooh back herself, but she was certainly very hurt and very sad that somebody was trying to take her beloved Ah Pooh away. Seeing her cry, I turned to the girl, tried to gentlely talk to her and take Ah Pooh back. She resisted but thanksfully her mum stepped in.

That instance taught me something - that I should stand up for Kah Yen and protect what's important to her now, so that she knows her rights and she will stand firm for herself when she grows up. Baby Pooh is important to her, and nobody has the right to take it away from her. It is one thing to always encourage her to share with others, it is entirely another matter to force her to give up her things or her own rights. Daddy made the same mistake too. Daddy was carrying Kah Yen around in a company family day, while he was talking to his colleague, her one year old son was trying to grab Ah Pooh from Kah Yen's hands. Trying to be friendly, Daddy told Kah Yen to share Ah Pooh with the baby "Kah Yen, give it to baby, give it to him", of course Kah Yen didn't want to. So it was an embarrassing moment, luckily the mum managed to distract the baby with something else.

Both of us now learnt to stand by Kah Yen side when it comes to Ah Pooh. Similar incidents happened again at playground, when we were shopping in Ikea or just walking around the neighborhood, toddlers will come forward and try to snatch Ah Pooh and I now learnt to hold it before they can reach, and calmly and firmly I will tell them "Oh Sorry but you can't have that. It is Kah Yen's Ah Pooh". In Ikea the boy threw himself onto the floor and screamed and kicked right in the middle of the walkway, but too bad I will have to leave the tantrum to his mum to manage.

By learning to say "No, it is Kah Yen's Ah Pooh." now, we are also preparing ourselves to teach Kah Yen to stand up for herself later when she goes to school, to be able to say "No, you can't have that, it is my toy." or "No, I am playing with this right now, you will have to wait till I finish" to other kids, to be honest about her feelings and direct in expessing them, when she is not comfortable with a certain situation. But of course, while teaching her to be assertive, we should also remind her it is not the same as aggressiveness and being sensitive to others is also equally important.

I was not taught to be assertive myself when I grew up. I felt awfully guilty whenever I have to say no to other people, and I often found myself given in to others. It is yet another thing for me to learn as a mother, to "grow up with Kah Yen".




Tuesday 11 September 2012

The imaginative see-saw

I am starting to believe that simple toys foster imaginations better than battery-powered, complicated toys. I noticed more than a few times Kah Yen having imaginative play with her simple toys, I was very happy to see her imagination and creativity evolving.

This morning, I left her play on our bed for a while when I went for my shower, as usual this includes transfering all her soft toys from her cot to our bed as well.

And when I came out from shower, before I entered into our room, I heard her chanting "Qiao qiao ban, Qiao qiao ban" (Chinese for see-saw), the way we usually did when we play at the playground. What was she up too? I was quite eager to see, and when I entered into the room, this is what I saw:

Kah Yen was playing see-saw with all her friends on our big bolster. Note how she has placed her friends one by one on the other end of the see-saw, in a very orderly fashion! I am mighty too big to sit on the bolster otherwise I would have jumped on the bed to join them. Fun times they are having!



Monday 10 September 2012

Saturday Art

So last weekend we went to the zoo, this weekend we did not plan to go anywhere. After our usual Saturday morning grocery shopping in the market, it was 10 o'clock and another two more hours before lunch. Daddy took out a big piece of wrapping paper and covered quarter of the living room with it, and he announced we were gonna make a piece of art.

"Since we went to the zoo last week, let's draw all the animals Kah Yen has met in the zoo." declared Daddy.

Of course drawing was 90% done by Daddy and 5% done by Mummy, AND, let's just give 5% credit to Kah Yen for trying really hard.

As you can see, she was helping Daddy to color the sun bear's belly white.


After a few minutes Kah Yen realized the sun bear's belly is too big for her, this clever girl moved to giraffe, maybe she think she can help to add some details to giraffe's leg. She was still working very very hard as you can see.


Daddy was done with Zebra. Now it was the time to draw the giant crocodile. It looked mighty big and scary. "That's too big for me, I'd better step aside and let Daddy do the work", thought Kah Yen.


Kah Yen reckoned she had worked really hard this morning so she proceeded to reward herself with two new ballons before we finish the drawing. And when Daddy and Mummy asked her to stand behind the completed drawing to take a photo, she was like "Oh so fast. It was done? What should I do with the ballons?"


"Okay, Daddy and Mummy said I can have the ballons to take photo together." So Kah Yen stood in front of the drawing with Daddy held it from behind, for more photo taking.



We spent entire one hour on this. It was a great family time. Don't try to guess what did Kah Yen's mummy draw. I was trying to be busy with the camera as you can see.


Friday 7 September 2012

Sunday school effects

Kah Yen had been attending sunday school for almost two months and each week we take turns to accompany her (One parent is encouraged to be there for the 18-month to 3-year old group). Other than doing a lot of singing, dancing and story-telling, the sunday school also imparts to children good behaviors like self-control through simple and consistent instructions, which I like very much. Examples are some of the things below, I call them sunday school effects.


(1) Pack up time

These 3 magical words are constantly used throughout the sunday school class. When the class is about to start, the main teacher will say "pack up time" and the children will help to put all the toys back to their respective baskets. During singing session, each child is given a scarf to dance in one of the songs, when the song ends, teacher will again shout "pack up time" and the child will pass the scarf back to the teacher one by one. It is the same during the musical instrument time too.

These 3 words indeed works like magic. There is no need to say "Children, can you please help to pack up the toys?". No you don't ask for their permission, you give them instruction, simple and clear.

At home Kah Yen is usually co-operative when it comes to packing up toys. If she doesn't want to play with certain toy anymore, she will usually pack it up before passing back to me, like putting all the crayons into the plastic bag, erasing her drawings on the magnetic drawing board, and puting all plates and cups back to her picnic basket. But when the toys are massive, like 50+ pieces of building blocks or dozens of construction cars, trucks and signboards on the floor, then we will need to engage her with "Pack up time" and she will help us with the packing.


Guess who is going to pack up the toys?

(2) Self-control hand

For a less than 2-year old to learn the idea of self-control, it isn't easy. Again the sunday school does it the simple way. The teacher asks the children to clench one hand with the other and hold them in front of their chests, like chinese wishing people "Gong Xi Fai Cai" during Chinese New Year, the parents are encouraged to hold the children's hands inside theirs to help them. And the teacher will count from 1 to 10 and 10 back to 1 before the children can release their hands. Sometimes I can feel Kah Yen's hands are trying to break loose inside mine, I will hold her tighter and don't let go, and overtime, she learnt to wait till the counting stops. The purpose of this is to help the children calm down from certain situation and hopefully divert them to something else after it.

Recently I have used this technique twice at home. First time she was playing sticker book on her high chair while we were taking dinner, the stickers were a bit too hard to take out, she was getting impatient and was going to throw the sticker book at our table. I quickly held her hand and did the "self-control hand" with her. After we'r done, I offered to help her take out a few stickers and she was contented to play with them quietly again.

Yesterday we sat down and read a book before sleep as usual, and in the middle of it she insisted on flipping the pages randomly herself, which was very disruptive to my reading. Usually I will just let her flip till she's done with it, and I will pick up reading again from where I left, but yesterday, I held her hand and did the "self-control hand" with her, and magically she sat quietly reading the book with me afterwards. The funny part is, when I was on the last few pages, she suddenly clenched her hands all by herself and started counting "2, 4, 5, 8!". It was so cute I almost burst out laughing seeing it.


(3) Sit still and focus

For sitting still and focus they use this phase "Cross your legs, fold your arms, and finger on your lip!", it is a bit long and I always guided Kah Yen to follow this instruction. But over time, it became a habit. For example, during the station games, when the children have to go from one station to another in small group to collect their bible verses, I notice Kah Yen will automatically sat down, cross her legs and fold her arms when we reached a new station. 

At home, we don't require her to sit still on the floor so much, but we do use the "Finger on your lip!" follow by "hush..." quite often when we need her to be quiet. Example, when Daddy is giving thanks for dinner, if Kah Yen talks I will put my finger on my lip and she will do the same and stop talking.



(4) Quiet time

This is different from "Finger on your lip!", this is to encourage the children to lie down and be quiet for an extended time. During quiet time, the children are told to lie down and listen to the audio bible being played. The parents are encouraged to lie down with them or lay our hands on them. This seems to be Kah Yen's favorite time. She often does it without any objection.

At home, sometimes in the weekend afternoon when we are tired playing I will switch on the soft music and tell Kah Yen to have some "Quiet time" with mummy, both of us will lie down on the floor for a while together. This is also very useful when I read children's bible to her before our night prayer. Usually just before bedtime she is over-excited and jumps around in her cot, but recently before I start reading, I wil tell her "Kah Yen, mummy is going to read the bible, lie down and it's quiet time", and she follows. I am impressed. Though she often gets up and does her usual stuff again after only a few minutes, but I think she is already doing very well.

There are other things the sunday school has taught the children too, but I am mostly impressed with the above. It is not as easy as it sounds though. Patience and perseverance will do the job. The important point is: lay out the rules with simple and clear instruction, show them how to do it, and do it consistently with them. After all, they are great observers and absorb things really fast. Train them with good behaviors and very soon we will start to enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Thursday 6 September 2012

Dear Zoo

Dear Zoo,

My mummy once read me a book that says if I write you a letter, you will send me a pet. But I am not writing for a pet, I am writing to tell you how glad I am that I have met you.

Last Saturday, my daddy and mummy finally brought me to the zoo. When I was younger they always discussed whether they should bring me to the zoo, the answer is always no because they are afraid that the monkeys will fetch me home, or they would say grandma told them if I look at monkeys too much, I will look like one and that won't be a pretty thing for a girl. Adults always have strange logic, I don't understand them, most of the time.

We were first met by the otters. They are so small, but they seem to have so much energy. When I went near the glass that keep them away from us, they all ran to me and made funny and loud noises, like they were mighty glad to see me. I was mighty glad to see them too!



Next we went to the Splash Safari to watch the sea lion show. This is the first time I saw a sea lion, and it is completely different from a lion! The sea lion likes splashing in the water just like me at shower time. But he also likes many other things, like eating fishes, jumping up to touch the ball, flying through a ring circle and standing up-side-down with his two hands. He is quite a good dancer too.


After the show we went to the primate kingdom. Primate kingdom is full of monkeys, different kinds of monkeys, some has very long and thin tail, some has a white patch near their backside, like they are also wearing a cloth diaper, some is orange in color, some climbs up and down the tree like a spider. I wanted to ask mummy if George was also there. You know George? He is from Africa, he is a very curious monkey. The book says he went to the zoo in the end. 


We also went to the Elephants at work & play show. The elephants are very smart and funny, but they are so big I don't dare to go near them. I am afraid they will kiss my ear like this:


After the elephant show we went to see the giant tortoise. I don't quite like them at first. They look so grey in color that I almost mistook them as big rocks. And they look so old. Mummy told me that one of them was 178 years old. Now I remembered a story Mummy once told me about a tortoise and a hare, they went for a race, and despite the hare ran very fast, the tortoise still beat the hare and won the race. Mummy said it is because the hare fell asleep, but I think it is because the tortoise is very good at walking. He had been walking for over 100 years!


Look at this tortoise, he is so big, I opened my mouth as big as I can but it is still five size smaller than his. And his neck is probably longer than me!


I also met hippo, lion and cheetah face to face and saw many others like white tiger, giraffe, zebra, rhinoceros. Oh yes I especially loved the two honey bears. I pointed at them and called "Ah Pooh", which is the name for my baby pooh, mummy is so surprised I can tell they are the same species, even she doesn't know Ah Pooh is a honey bear, she has forgotten what she read to me!



You are so mighty big and we couldn't finish visiting every part of you this time. I was so tired I collapsed into my mummy's arm after lunch, and we took a taxi home. I promise I will come back again, really soon! I send this photo of me to you so that you can remember me the next time I come! Send my regards to all the animals I have met and all those I have not met. Thank you.


Your truly
Kah Yen