Wednesday 27 June 2012

Common-Sense Parenting

I open the booklet by Gary Ezzo and these are the first few lines I read:


"Whatever happened to common-sense parenting? In recent years, the methods of raising a family have changed dramatically. Young parents today are constantly  subjected to new research, theories, and findings on the latest methods of parenting. Unfortunately, their children usually end up as casualties of these methods."


I can't agree with the author more. Parenthood should be one of the most natural thing to human being, it should be second nature because this is how we are designed to be - getting married, giving birth and raising up children in a family. Parenthood is not intended to be an overwhelming burden, like Gary has mentioned, rather, it should be a rewarding privilege - to love and nurture our children and see them grow.


Our parents, parents' parents and our ancestors back to a few thousand years back, have all done the job, easily and pretty well I will say. They have raised great leaders, politicians and revolutionaries, bright scientists and inventors, talented artists and musicians, and some even, genius. How many parenting books or websites were available then? I am sure Abraham Lincoln's mum did not have a book "How to raise an American President" to refer to, yet Abraham Lincoln once acknowledged, "All that I am or hope to be I owe to my mother." What about now? I feel overwhelmed by the number of parenting books and websites that teach us everything about raising up a kid. Yes I know it is not easy to bring up a kid, especially to building up character and instill good value. There is a saying in Chinese that "It takes 10 years to grow a tree, and 100 years to train a person.". I think the most important thing for parents is to be aware of your parenting style and be sure of your core values and beliefs. We will leave the second point to later.

Anyway, I read this book (or rather a booklet) that summarizes all the wrong parenting types and of course tells you what the balanced parenting type should be. It is so true and so easy to understand and just as the title suggests - it is common-sense. There are the permissive parent - He is not particularly concerned about obedience and acceptable social behavior for his children; the over-protective parent - The parent tells the child exactly what to do and how to do it, or even do it for him; the bribing parent - The bribing parent barter with his children for acceptable behavior by using bribes, threats, or even scare tactics to gain temporary control of their behavior; the threatening parent - Constant repetition of commands or directions to his children, followed by repeated threats if they do not obey. The parent is clearly trying to establish authority using the wrong way; the absent/substitute parent - The well-meaning parent is involved with the future of his family at the expense of the present - a philosophy which does not work yet is very prevalent in today's society; the manipulating parent - He seeks to gain control over his child's outward behavior by appealing to his basic and dependent emotions; the unapproachable/discouraging parent - The type itself is self-explanatory. The parent is unapproachable and discouraging, because he is too busy to be interrupted or available. Lastly the child-centerd parent - This is again self-explanatory. And many of us feel we are this type at one point or another, because our children has become our universe.

So finally what's the balanced parenting type?

Firstly, the parent must balance the four essential truths of training - love, discipline, training and example. Love without discipline produces a child who is spoiled. Discipline without love produces a discouraged child with a broken spirit. Teaching without example produces a child who is bitter and full of resentment, and also likely to be rebellious in his growing up years. And example without teaching produces a child who is exasperated and insecure.

Secondly, the parent knows when to allow his children freedom and when to pull in the reins. He knows how to train a child in obedience without gimmicks.

Thirdly, the parent knows the importance of Dad's presence in the house. Dad needs to have time for his children. He needs to speak positive and life into the children. And he also knows that there is a time for listening and a time for talking.

Finally, the balanced parent puts the husband-wife relationship first. The children are the welcome member of the family but not the center of it. The strongest families have the strongest marriages.

Aren't these simple truths that never change with time?

Note: This is a summary of the book "The Bible and Common-Sense Parenting" by Gary Ezzo. You can get a copy from Growing Family International Singapore. For more books and resources on parenting by Gary Ezzo, you may refer to the Ezzotruth website.

Monday 25 June 2012

Family time - It is always good

We finally had some family time this weekend, after almost a month of "out-of-order-ness" due to a weekend trip back to Ipoh, Malaysia, a 4D3N church camp to KL and two weeks of flu and its aftermath. With the last one being the killer, because it was the first time our small family of three were all down. The trips were exciting but the degree of anxiety was nothing less. I am an extremely steady person especially after becoming a wife and mother, I crave routine, predictability and orderliness. Sounds super boring I know, but with a baby in tow, trust me, sometimes life is much better that way.

Anyway, we decided to bring Kah Yen out since she has been extremely clingy and cranky at home these days. We have to carry her all the time. Sometimes we managed to sit her in front of her toys, but five minutes later we will see her trip-trot, trip-trot to ever corner of the house looking for us. Once Daddy managed to sneak in the bathroom to take a bath while she was playing with her kitchen set, one minute later I found her sitting outside the bathroom floor chanting "Daddy carry, Daddy carry" till Daddy finally came out.

Both husband and I do not like too crowded places. Although the place we stay is considered quite central, we are like from the outskirts. We hardly go to City Hall or Suntec or Orchard unless we absolutely need to - the crowd, the jam and the queue in the taxi stand are really not something we look forward to. We also made a point not to bring Kah Yen to shopping halls too often, afraid that she will become too materialistic when she grows up. For this Saturday, we decided to go to the new heartland mall NEX to have a simple dinner and get Kah Yen some new toys. The moment we landed at Kiddy Palace, we felt so relax because Kah Yen decided walking is much more fun than being carried. She was happily running around the entire toy section, taking things off the shelves, pushing all the buttons and putting them back before doing the same to the next one. She was amazed at the number and size of soft toys too. She took one of the mini mouse and held on it for quite some time. I was almost going to buy it for her because firstly I personally like mini mouse, secondly out of mummy guilty because so far the only soft toys I bought for her are two small Pooh and Piglet, and each costed me $6 only. But after about five minutes she put mini mouse back to the shelf and came to me for Baby Pooh. Thanks for her loyalty which saved my pocket.

After we bought her some toys, we had early dinner at Ajisen and then went to the department store to see if we can get anything out of the Great Singapore Sales. We came back before 8pm, Kah Yen was in bed by 830pm, and both of us enjoyed a good movie at home, something we had not done for a long time.

Sunday morning she finally went back to Sunday school after a three-week break. I can see that she had overcomed the initial anxiety she had for the first two times. She was not too overwhelmed when we entered the room, and she quickly sat down next to me when I asked her to. She was still quiet and mostly obversing during the singing session, but story-telling and craft activity sessions were still her favorite. Considering she was not feeling well for the past two weeks or so, her behavior at Sunday school was excellent.

Sunday afternoon is always the most relax time of all for our family. Kah Yen will usually nap within half an hour after coming back from church. Some days the whole family will take a nap together. Yesterday the husband and Kah Yen both slept for about two hours while I enjoyed the quietness in the study room. Later when they woke up, they decided to open the new toys we bought on Saturday, I lied on the bed to watch the both of them playing and fell asleep without knowing it. I woke up almost an hour later to find both of them still playing but the entire room was a mess - with kitchen sets on my bed, soft balls on my body, books on the floor and wet wipes flying around! and the word "Boredom" was clearly written on the husband's face. I was almost going to shout "Why did you allow her to mess up the room like this?" but considering at least he never woke me up from my nap, I swallowed my word and decided everyone should go out of the house to get some sun and fresh air.

So we took Kah Yen for a long walk in the stroller till we reached the nearest Macdonald - yes once in a while Daddy and Mummy will indulge in junk food. Kah Yen is the indirect beneficiary because she can receive her special treat - French fries. However, since it is a treat it has to come after her dinner. To do that, the husband had to cover the french fries with tissue paper when he brought his order to the table while I fed her porridge. When porridge was done she was more than happy to chew on the french fries and enjoying the view outside the window. Husband and I enjoyed our meal slowly and even had some small charts without being disturbed at all, which brought us the revelation that whenever we need to talk or meet a friend in the future, we should just bring her to Macdonald!

We took a long walk back, Kah Yen was in bed again by 830pm. She still needs to be patted to sleep (side effect of the flu) but she never woke up for the entire night, which is a big improvement.

That's how our weekend went. Nothing out of the ordinary I know, but family time, big or small, is always good.






Wednesday 20 June 2012

Where did my baby go?

Kah Yen fell sick after our KL Camp trip two weeks ago, she had fever for a few days, followed by running nose and cough until now. I know looking after a sick baby is difficult, but I don't know a sick toddler is so different from a sick baby! It is much more than crying in pain, frequent night wake-ups and low appetite for food, she is displaying bad behaviors, throwing tantrums and rejecting most of my instructions. It is like an adult in a typical bad mood - I am not feeling well, so nothing is right in my eyes. She had always been such a sweet and good girl but these days she had turned into a totally different person, which left me wondering: Where on earth did my baby go?

She will throw things on the floor and refuse to pick up when I ask her to. Usually she doesn't throw things and she will even pack her own toys after playing, but recently she started dumpt things on the floor - not randomly, but purposely, with frustration and anger, a clear signal of "I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH THIS TOY - THE END!". Yesterday she even threw her beloved Baby Pooh on the floor, when I asked her to pick up, there was no action from her, she just moved to something else. I was nearly furious and almost going to demand an immediate response from her, but husband said she was not feeling well so let's leave the obedience training to later.

She also refused to be changed to her Pajamas, despiting me telling her a few times that "8 o'clock is your bedtime and Mummy is going to change you soon". Yesterday when I tried to change her, she protested for nearly 10 minutes. She would cry, refuse to lie down, ask to be carried. When I ignored her and tried to remove her shirt, she pulled her shirt desperately and then waived her arms randomly to protest. I have never seen her behave like this before, NEVER. She is usually mroe than cooperative and in fact our changing time has always been a fun time together - I would recite her nursery rhymes, tickle her, play peek-a-boo or Eyes, Nose and Ears with her. Yesterday was my first real battle with her, and after 10 minutes or so I decided to withdraw and let the husband take over.

She had always been falling asleep on her own too. Bedtime was always a breeze for us. After putting her down, saying a prayer followed by a good night kiss, we can come out of the room and switch on the TV right away (Ok we don't really watch so much TV, but that's how easy it was). These few days she would cry if we leave the room. We tried to wait for 5-10 minutes to let her calm down herself, it was no use. The cry only got louder and when we went in, we saw she was sitting on her bed, apparently not prepared to sleep at all. Husband and I have been taking turns to pat her to sleep the last few days. Ok we know she was not feeling well, but shouldn't you be more than happy to lie down and sleep when you are not feeling well? I guess it is another of my assumptions that is true to adults but is no way going to be applicable in a toddler's life.

She also wanted to carried all the time, and sometimes only wanted to be carried by Daddy and nothing to do with Mummy. But when we brought her outside the house, she was perfectly fine. She was happy to even walk back from the park all on her own two little feet.

I am perplexed and frustrated. What happened to my sweet little angel who has always been sweet, bubbly and playful? I just hope that it is her fever and flu to blame, not the infamous "Terrible 2's" that I have read so much about. I even hope that I will never have to deal with the terrible 2 phase because I choose to believe that two-year-old does not have to be terrible, but can be terrific.


Toddler - Terrible or terrific?


Monday 18 June 2012

Thank you for being a great Daddy!

It is Father's Day and I just want to take this chance to thank my husband for being a great daddy to Kah Yen for the past one and half years.

1. He cares for Kah Yen's basic needs

He is the one sends Kah Yen to our Nanny's place every morning. I have to leave work earlier at 730am. Kah Yen wakes up between 730am to 8am. So he is the one changes her, gives her milk and sends her off to our Nanny's place. He is so familiar with it that I can leave work everyday without any worry. There are times when both of them overslept a little after I left, I wonder how they every got ready in time, but this father-daughter pair have their own ways that Mummy doesn't know, apparently according to feedback they always have a spendid time in the morning without me!

He also helps to settle Kah Yen to sleep in the evening. In seasons when he can come back from work on time, we will take turn each day to be in charge of Kah Yen's bedtime routine, that includes bathing/changing her, feeding her bottle, reading with her a book, bringing her to say Goodnight to the whole house and saying her a prayer. In fact Kah Yen enjoys Daddy putting her to bed even more, because Daddy is less strict and will occasionally break the rules. For example, sometimes I will hear laughter after laughter from the room, I try to hold the urge to tell them off "It's bed time, not play time!" while secretly am jealous of them having a good time together without Mummy!

2. He looks after Kah Yen alone when Mummy is not around

One of my much needed weekly me-time is taking a good afternoon nap on Sunday. On Sundays I normally wake up early to prepare Kah Yen's lunch to bring for our morning church service. We'd come back after lunch and get Kah Yen ready for her nap. By the time she sleeps I'd be really exhausted too, and I need a good nap. Sometimes when I am just about to lie down or I just fall into deep sleep, Kah Yen could have waken up from her nap earlier than expected. Daddy then will quickly bring her out to the library or to the park so that Mummy can have her much-needed nap.

Sometimes I need to go out to shop for some clothes or necessities. I would leave Kah Yen at home with her Daddy. He knows exactly when she needs to sleep and when she needs to drink her milk, and he would spend a lot of time playing with her too.  

3. He plays with her plenty

For playmate, Daddy is definitely Kah Yen's favorite. In fact Kah Yen only goes to Daddy when she wants to play bubbles. She likes to play balls with him too because he can play tricks. He also spends a lot of time drawing and building blocks with her. In fact Daddy is more spontaneous, more creative, more unpredictable, able to provide more stimulating and exciting interaction with Kah Yen than Mummy, who will mostly do singing, dancing and reading books, which are boring in the eyes of an active toddle. So Daddy wins!

4. He supports and helps Mummy

Yes it is true that the best way a Daddy can love his children is to love their Mother. Because when he loves their mother, she is less exhausted and more able to look after the children's needs, and also the children will feel more secure when they see their father explicitly expressing love to their mother. My husband is there to help me all the time. When I cook dinner, he will be the one to clean the plates. When I clean the plates, he will be the one to put Kah Yen to bed. Sometimes he will help to cook too. 

5. He always speaks positive about her

Daddy is always more positive than Mummy. He has not spoken a single negative word about her. He is always careful what he says about Kah Yen. I would be the one worrying about her growth and development etc while he will always assure me that she is perfectly fine. I can pretty much see that in the future Mummy will be the one questioning about Kah Yen's report card while Daddy will always affirm and encourage her. I am glad we complement in this area. He also supports me in my parenting approaches. I am the one reading more on parenting. I would share with him what I read and after we agree on the principles, he will make sure he always supports my approach and make sure he is consistent in the same approach too. 

Maybe as Kah Yen grows up there are more a father can do but as for now I think he is doing great as a dad. I know life for us is much harder than many because we don't have parents or in-laws support and we do not have a maid at home, but there are good side of it too and one of them I can't ask for more is, Daddy is almost as involved as Mummy in the whole parenting process!

Kah Yen absolutely loves her Daddy. She is more stingy when he is around and always prefers him to carry her around. She is a 100% Daddy's girl!

Thursday 14 June 2012

KL Camp Day 02 - Of SkyTrek, Tele-match and Chili crab

Breakfast is always my favorate part of the day when I am traveling. I like to wake up early to a fresh and quiet morning in a new place. I'd usually take a walk before I enjoy my breakfast. And my favorates are hot pancakes with thick honey, omelet, some bacon or ham for a protein packed delight, and of course complemented by a cup of hot coffee.

It was not the same for this trip.

Breakfast was supposed to be from 630am to 730am today followed by morning devotions. Since Kah Yen did not sleep very well last night, I decided to let her sleep as long as she wish. She woke up at around 830am, and by the time we made it to the dining hall, it was almost 9am and the entire hall was empty. Yes we were the only one (together with my roommate who kindly waited for us to come down together) eating in a big hall contains at least 20 round tables! Due to the short of time, I decided to give Kah Yen the hotel-cooked chicken porridge. It was not the healthies of choices I know but porridge was her favorate and hence the easiest to feed her. I fed her using one hand and ate my own breakfast using the other hand, yes I mean really hand. It must have been quite an unsightly scene but again when you are a mother there are just things you care less nowaways.

We rushed to finish our breakfast and waited for our bus to go to park Taman Pertanian for the SkyTrek. The SkyTrek adventure is basically jungle trekking from a height via a canopy. It tests your agility, challenges your fear, walk, crawl, glide and swing through different challenges in the sky, in total safety while appreciating the wonders of the Malaysian Tropical Rain Forest. I could have been really excited over this in the past when I was single, but being a mother somehow changed me - I see life as more fragile and precious and I generally avoid risk-taking. It is unbelievable because just two years back I went on mountain trekking and spent seven days sleeping with lychees and woke up to the sound of wild boars.

I had good excuse though because I needed to stay back and look after Kah Yen. The entire thing took about two hours there was no way I can leave her with somebody she is not familiar with for so long. So we stayed in the base with many other babies and young children and their mothers. I also took her for a walk in the park, we enjoyed the morning sun and the greenery.

SkyTrek - The low level for children


Kah Yen and other toddlers stayed behind

Afternoon was back to the hotel with some tele-match games along the poolside. I chose to go back to our room so that Kah Yen can take an afternoon nap. That's the thing when travelling with babies, you just got to be flexible and plan around their timetable sometimes. To me her sleep is important and I choose not to compromise too much. After her nap we still had time to join the rest and received a good dose of afternoon sun before dinner.


Dinner was on our own. Our group decided to drive out to an apparently famous seafood restaurant in town. I was not a big fan of seafood, I was hoping we go to somewhere nearby so that Kah Yen can come back in time for her bedtime. But, since we were in a group I don't want to see as too anti-social or too child-centered, so I went ahead with them. 20 over people in 4 cars, it took us more than an hour to find the place, and it was way passed Kah Yen's dinner time, luckily I had some biscuits with me to give her. We finally reached at 8pm and I immediately gave her the porridge and she finished in 10 minutes. That's quite a record for her! I brought her to look at the fish tanks and she was very happy to see the many different kinds of fishes, prawns and lobsters.


Kah Yen running outside the seafood restaurant


Kah Yen amazed by the big fishes and lobsters

I once heard a friend saying that food was her passion before she became a mother, but after she had baby, she was no longer passionate about food because for every meal, 80% of her time was spent feeding the baby and the rest 20% for herself, by then the food would be cold and she would rush to finish it while still keeping an eye on the baby. I am sure most mothers share her sentiments, me included. Hence it was worth mentioning that for that night I was really lucky because Kah Yen spent first half of the night playing with her crayons and second half playing with Emma Jiejie. I enjoyed my food slowly and joined the adult conversations and at some point nearly forgot she was with me. So I was not exaggerating when I said that it was my best Chili crab ever since I became a mother.

Kah Yen and Emma Jiejie

Wednesday 13 June 2012

When I see you smile

I thank God for the most wonderful gift He has ever given to me


Welcome to the world
 

I fall in love, again


First cuddle

I feel the privilege and honor to be a mother


Second month

I learn joy can be found in the simplest of things


First big smile

I hope time can be slower and this moment can last forever

 
Push Up

I look forward to waking up every morning to another new day


First Highchair


I know it all worths it no matter how hard parenthood can be sometimes


Sit and Read on my own


I have the strength for each new day


What is Mummy doing?


I become fearless


I am here!

I love life more

Standing Up

I want to become a better person


First Ride

I find myself wanting to make this world a better place


Happy Birthday

I can't wait to show you the world and its beauty 


A bumpy ride - first trip to Bintan

I become more grateful because there are just too many things to be thankful for


First winter in China

I realize things I once see as important are no longer so


First time eating french fries

I make a secret wish to walk with you and not let anything ever take your smile away



And here comes the big girl
 

When I see you smile at me

Monday 11 June 2012

KL Camp Day 01 - I almost got kicked off my own bed!

We just came back from a 4D3N church camp in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. "We" means Mummy and Kah Yen. Yes this is the first time I went overseas with her alone, Daddy cannot join due to work. I guess that made our trip kind of special. While I enjoyed every moment spending together with her, I have to be honest that traveling alone with her without Daddy was not easy.


We left early Wednesday morning. Thankfully my cell leader family opted to drive so we can share their car, instead of taking the coach. I have one backpack filled with our clothes and Kah Yen's cooking equipments, milk and bottles, one day bag for her milk and food on the road, each bag itself is about 10kg. I can't imagine how to carry the bags and Kah Yen if I have to take the coach.


It was a long journey. We set off at around 930am and only reached Grand Dorset Hotel at Subang KL at 4pm. Kah Yen was quite easy as usual throughout the ride. I guess she is already used to travel long distance after her trip to China and Ipoh, Malaysia. She enjoyed her new baby seat, took 2 naps and finished the porridge I prepared for her. All was well except she was terrified by flies at our lunch stop. It was her first encounter with flies. There were so many flies on the table that Kah Yen refused to sit in her highchair. I had to carry her on my lap and feed her.


There was ice breaker games after we arrived. Kah Yen was a little bit cautious at first but she was quickly warmed up after seeing many other children running around on the floor. Yes that's the good thing about this camp - it is a family camp and there are a lot of kids and babies. I let her run around in the crowd while I participated in the games. I am glad to see that she was not frightened by so many people.


After games, we checked in our room. I was pleasantly surprised to find out there was already a baby cot in our room! I was not sure if the hotel has baby cots, and there are so many other families in this camp so the chance of getting a baby cot is not high. In fact I was already mentally prepared to let her sleep with me. So I was really thankfully for the baby cot. There is also a nice corner table near the washroom for me to prepare Kah Yen's food and milk. Yes I brought a mini slow cooker and rice and ready cut vegetables just in case there is no suitable food for Kah Yen! This is the first time I brought slow cooker for a trip, after getting some advise from other mummies. Apparently this has been quite a common practice among mummies who travel with young babies. 

There is already a baby cot in our room

This is what I called "The cooking and milk station"

I gave Kah Yen a quick shower and we came down for our buffet dinner. The hotel has specially prepared a dining hall just for our camp group. Yes everyday we have round table buffet! Dining with so many people together made Kah Yen excited too. She finished her food very fast for every meal and after that would insist to come down for a walk. She enjoyed walking around the hall so much, and she even went up to the stage! 

Kah Yen's first buffet dinner in the hotel

Kah Yen watching performances while having her dinner

She ran to the stage after dinner

This little girl obviously does not have stage fright

After dinner we proceeded to another hall for worship and word session. I decided to go back to our room after the worship so that Kah Yen can sleep early. There was some struggle whether I should stay through the entire session or go back to let her sleep early.  I decided on the later because I really did not want to compromise her sleep, and the next day is filled with activities, she might not be able to get a good nap.


Kah Yen did not sleep very well in the night because the air conditioning was quite cold. I have tried my best to adjust but it still felt cold! I have very thick quilt so it is not an issue. Her blanket is thin and it was no use trying to cover her anyway because she will just toss around and kick off the blanket. In the midnight, after hearing her crying I decided to bring her to my bed, at least I can try to cover her with my quilt. 


I made the wrong decision. Every time I tried to cover her, she would kick and cry. She really didn't like the thick blanket on her. And she tossed around so much that she always ended up sleeping sideways instead of straight. It was a single bed and when she slept sideways, her feet was practically on my face, if not my tummy. And as she moved, she would kick my tummy, my chest, my head and my face! I was half asleep and thinking if she kicked one more time I would throw her back to her cot! No I did not think like that, instead I was thinking "Whoever says co-sleeping is a wonderful thing is a complete liar!". Because my baby wants nothing to do with me when it comes to sleeping. I was sleeping on the side which is near the wall but not completely next to the wall (Her side was blocked by the baby cot so it was safe). I think after sometime I ended up lying on the extreme edge of the bed with half my body in the air and one hand pushing against the wall so that I will not fall into the hole!


And that's how my first day of camp ended.


Tuesday 5 June 2012

The wheel on the bus go round and round

No. This is not a post about the song. This is a post about our bus ride from Ipoh, Malaysia to Singapore on Sundat. It took us an entire day. Exactly like the song says 'The wheel on the bus go round and round, all day long."

Did you ever complain that you do not have enough time with your baby? Not if you have taken him/her for a bus ride from 1030am to 830pm, exactly 10 hours with her - skin to skin. It surely sounds overwhelming if you have an active toddler. Luckily for Kah Yen, we do not have to squeeze our brain juice to keep her entertained. Here is Kah Yen teaching you how to enjoy a long bus ride:

1. Eat, Eat and Eat

Kah Yen had 2 milk feed and 2 main meals on the bus. Surprisely, she finished all her milk and porridge without any fuss. She is usually not an aggressive eater at home. She is contented to finish 80% of her milk, and you can't lure her by any means to finish the remaining 20%. As for solid food, she can sit still and eat only if there is something in front her to keep her occupied. Not Iphone or Ipad, but any other toys, a small cooking set or a piece of paper with some crayons. While we were on the bus, I did not have to take out anything to entertain her. She ate like she had been starving for the past 3 days. Maybe the bumpy ride really helped her stomach to digest faster. Or maybe it is an universal truth for adults as well as babies - when you have nothing much to do, just eat, eat and eat.

2. The magic seat pocket

Kah Yen was fascinated with the seat pocket in front of my seat. And she did all kinds of experiments with it. Put in her small water bottle, it fit. Take out her bottle, put in Mummy's big bottle, it fit too. Now how about we put in Mummy's big bottle, then put in my small bottle, it fit both. How about adding one small piece of biscuit? Oh it dropped through the hole to the floor. One more time, it dropped again. Ok let's not waste my biscuits. Let's take out all the bottles and do the experiment again. The magic seat pocket kept her occupied for nearly an hours.

3. Curtains - Open it, Close it, and Peek-A-Boo

She loved to pull the curtains open, and close them again. After a few rounds she put Mummy's water bottle on the window and played Peek-A-Boo with it. She would close the curtain, and told me "Bottle no more", and then open the curtain and said "Peek-A-Boo"! She played with it again and again for many many times, with the same excitement. Her interest in it could have lasted even longer if the bottle can also play hide-and-seek like Mummy does.

4. What's outside the window?

You think it is so boring to look outside the window. Not quite so for Kah Yen. She would shout "Bus" each time there is a bus pass by. Same goes for cars. Mummy will try to point out the different colors of the buses and cars so that she can be engaged even longer. Other than buses and cars, she also managed to spot some birds, a few cats and even a fly on the other side of the glass.

5. Let's play funny faces

She can be self-entertained by playing all the funny faces and make silly noises herself. Her tongue is super flexible, she can stick half of it out of her mouth and let it dance and whirl about. Husband said that's not funny especially with all the saliva running down, but I have no objection to it because 1) That's what babies do 2) It is cute and she is happy 3) Tongue movement helps her speech development.

6. Sleep only if you absolutely need to

We adults will usually doze on and off throughout a long bus ride right? Unless we are watching a movie or reading a book. Shouldn't babies fall asleep even more easily by the rocking effect of bus. I thought so. But apparently it does not apply to a toddler with excessive energy. She slept in the morning for 2 solid hours, but that's the effect of sleeping at 11pm the previous night after a wedding dinner. So I was expecting by 3 to 4pm she would be down again for an afternoon nap. After patting her for half an hour, her eyes were almost half closed, but the moment the bus stopped for toilet break, she jumpped to her feet and from then on protested each time I tried to let her lie down again. The battle stopped finally by Mummy giving up completely.

Of course Mummy will never let our together-time being wasted without reading her a book or teaching her a few new words. I managed to teach her to respond to the question "What's your name?" by replying in her cutest voice "Kah Yen". It is not yet field tested and still Mummy thought this is brilliant. The only regret is I forgot to sing her the song "The wheel on the bus", what a perfect time to teach her the song!



Friday 1 June 2012

More on Sunday School

I wasn't sure if I should write more on Kah Yen's Sunday School until I received a call from our church Sunday School pastor on Tuesday, two days after Kah Yen's first session there. Our church is a mega-size church so we don't know this pastor personally, neither does she know us. But she called and asked how was Kah Yen's first session. She also explained the reasons behind some of the activities they are doing with the children, and how we can help her to adapt faster.

I was really touched. It is not like I am sending her to a childcare where the staff and teachers are responsible for my child's well-being and growth. My idea of Sunday school is a group of kind and loving volunteers offer to help look after the kids while the parents are in the church service. I never expected they will make an effort to get to know every child and every parent. And I never expected the way they run the Sunday school is almost the standard of a Nursery outside.

Yes. When we first stepped into the place both my husband and I felt we came into a Nursery. There are least 5-6 big decorated rooms. The children are divided into 3 different clubs according to age group (David Club (for 18 months - 4 year olds); Timothy Club (for 5 - 9 year olds); Barnabas Club (for 10 - 12 year olds)). Kah Yen is in David's club and the children are further divided into N2 (18-month to 3 years old), N3 & N4 (3 - 4 years old). Kah Yen was in the N2 classroom.

Kah Yen's Sunday School welcome card
There are at least 5 volunteers for her class. The middle of the room was divided into four squares by masking tape. I did not pay much attention to it but pastor told me later it is used to train the children the concept of boundary - They are told to stay within the square boxes during all activities, insteading of running around the room. All the children's water bottle are placed at a table outside the boxes, they can only go the get their water bottles during break. And no snacks are allowed inside the room. This is to train their self-control. The children are encouraged to pack up the toys themselves when program starts - to train them about responsibility. In a nutshell, it emphasizes a lot on character training.

The programs are well planned too. I was quite impressed when they hand out a 6-week program sheet to me. It details all the activites for each week, catering to the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual development of the child.

Kah Yen's first Sunday School session was a bit overwhelming to her, but she stayed through without much big fuss. She was tentative and reserved, but she did start to participate in the story telling and craft activity, following instructions and obeying them.

I was still very excited for the second session, eager to see how she will progress. At least she was not scared when we brought her into the room, though she pretty much remained as a observer at the beginning and throughout the singing and dancing session. However, like the first time, she was able to follow instructions and behave with good self-control during the offering time, quiet time and story-telling time.

All's well till the group activity time, there was a small breakdown. In this activity, every children was given a small plastic bowl, they are told to go the center of the room to get some macaroni from the teacher, come back and pour the macaroni to a bigger container. It was not a competition on speed or body coordination. So the emphasize was not on whether they can successfully pour the macaroni inside the container and how much. The teacher said it is perfectly fine if they drop some on the floor, just encourage them to pick up.

Hence I was really caught unprepared when Kah Yen burst into crying after she dropped some macaroni on the floor. Was it because the teacher was a little too loud exclaiming "Oh! The macaroni fell on the floor, we have to pick them up!"? I am sure she was just trying to get Kah Yen's attention and engage her. Was it because Kah Yen felt bad she did not do it correct? But she is only 18-month old, at this age toddlers are still shaky in right or wrong, aren't they banging table and snatching toys and spitting food etc, doing all the "terrible things" at terrible two?  Was it because there was no encouragement and praise from Mummy? Yes I will usually go overboard with praises when she does something well at home. At that moment I must admit my mind was working on how to engage her to pick up the macaroni, then to offer encouragement for what she had already done. I couldn't confirm but it could be either one of the reasons or all.

She finally calmed down after I carried her to the side with much cuddling. It left me thinking just how much encouragement and attention our children need from us for their emotional development.

Look forward to more Sunday School sessions, more opportunities to observe how Kah Yen learn and grow in a classroom. And as you can see there are plenty things for Mummy to learn too.