1. He cares for Kah Yen's basic needs
He is the one sends Kah Yen to our Nanny's place every morning. I have to leave work earlier at 730am. Kah Yen wakes up between 730am to 8am. So he is the one changes her, gives her milk and sends her off to our Nanny's place. He is so familiar with it that I can leave work everyday without any worry. There are times when both of them overslept a little after I left, I wonder how they every got ready in time, but this father-daughter pair have their own ways that Mummy doesn't know, apparently according to feedback they always have a spendid time in the morning without me!
He also helps to settle Kah Yen to sleep in the evening. In seasons when he can come back from work on time, we will take turn each day to be in charge of Kah Yen's bedtime routine, that includes bathing/changing her, feeding her bottle, reading with her a book, bringing her to say Goodnight to the whole house and saying her a prayer. In fact Kah Yen enjoys Daddy putting her to bed even more, because Daddy is less strict and will occasionally break the rules. For example, sometimes I will hear laughter after laughter from the room, I try to hold the urge to tell them off "It's bed time, not play time!" while secretly am jealous of them having a good time together without Mummy!
2. He looks after Kah Yen alone when Mummy is not around
One of my much needed weekly me-time is taking a good afternoon nap on Sunday. On Sundays I normally wake up early to prepare Kah Yen's lunch to bring for our morning church service. We'd come back after lunch and get Kah Yen ready for her nap. By the time she sleeps I'd be really exhausted too, and I need a good nap. Sometimes when I am just about to lie down or I just fall into deep sleep, Kah Yen could have waken up from her nap earlier than expected. Daddy then will quickly bring her out to the library or to the park so that Mummy can have her much-needed nap.
Sometimes I need to go out to shop for some clothes or necessities. I would leave Kah Yen at home with her Daddy. He knows exactly when she needs to sleep and when she needs to drink her milk, and he would spend a lot of time playing with her too.
3. He plays with her plenty
For playmate, Daddy is definitely Kah Yen's favorite. In fact Kah Yen only goes to Daddy when she wants to play bubbles. She likes to play balls with him too because he can play tricks. He also spends a lot of time drawing and building blocks with her. In fact Daddy is more spontaneous, more creative, more unpredictable, able to provide more stimulating and exciting interaction with Kah Yen than Mummy, who will mostly do singing, dancing and reading books, which are boring in the eyes of an active toddle. So Daddy wins!
4. He supports and helps Mummy
Yes it is true that the best way a Daddy can love his children is to love their Mother. Because when he loves their mother, she is less exhausted and more able to look after the children's needs, and also the children will feel more secure when they see their father explicitly expressing love to their mother. My husband is there to help me all the time. When I cook dinner, he will be the one to clean the plates. When I clean the plates, he will be the one to put Kah Yen to bed. Sometimes he will help to cook too.
5. He always speaks positive about her
Daddy is always more positive than Mummy. He has not spoken a single negative word about her. He is always careful what he says about Kah Yen. I would be the one worrying about her growth and development etc while he will always assure me that she is perfectly fine. I can pretty much see that in the future Mummy will be the one questioning about Kah Yen's report card while Daddy will always affirm and encourage her. I am glad we complement in this area. He also supports me in my parenting approaches. I am the one reading more on parenting. I would share with him what I read and after we agree on the principles, he will make sure he always supports my approach and make sure he is consistent in the same approach too.
Maybe as Kah Yen grows up there are more a father can do but as for now I think he is doing great as a dad. I know life for us is much harder than many because we don't have parents or in-laws support and we do not have a maid at home, but there are good side of it too and one of them I can't ask for more is, Daddy is almost as involved as Mummy in the whole parenting process!
Kah Yen absolutely loves her Daddy. She is more stingy when he is around and always prefers him to carry her around. She is a 100% Daddy's girl!
Kah Yen absolutely loves her Daddy. She is more stingy when he is around and always prefers him to carry her around. She is a 100% Daddy's girl!
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