Seriously Sick

Both Kah Yen and myself were sick since last weekend.

For her, it's coughing and heavy phlegm and running nose, she literally coughed till vomitted. For me, my nose was blocked for a good two days, followed by coughing. It may not sound too bad, at least none of us had fever, but, trust me, when you have a sick mother and a sick child together, and there is no other able body around, it is SERIOUS.

On Monday, I struggled to work, while Daddy took leave to be with Kah Yen, she didn't get better.

On Tuesday, I took leave to look after her, only to realize by the end of the day that I got worse and she did not get any better. Can you imagine a sick body carrying a 12kg baby around? Can you imagine a person with no appetite trying to cook something out of nothing and force her equally no appetite child to eat? Can you imagine neither of us slept for more than an hour in the afternoon because we kept being disturbed by each other's coughing?

By the end of the day, I was completely exhausted. The last time I was so sick I think I hugged my pillow and cried to sleep. But this time I can't because if I do we will have two crying babies at home and that will be quite a scene!

On Wednesday, we decided to send her to school while I rested at home. It was a difficult decision to make. I felt guilty to send her to school before she fully recovers, yet I did not have the strength to look after her at home. I desperately needed some rest myself.

I slept and slept for the whole day, I didn't even think at all how she was doing at school.

Nobody has told me before it was so hard when one is sick and still needs to look after someone. I can't help thinking how my own mum did it. I hardly noticed when she was sick, not that she never fell sick, but she never showed it. Even when she was sick, she still brought dinner to the table, she still did all the laundry, she still cleaned the house like she usually does, she still made sure all her children's needs were taken care of. And she lived in an era men only work outside the house.

If she is made of steel, I think I am not even close to bricks.