Letters to Kah Yen: Your Nanny, Your Popo

Dear Kah Yen,

In this letter, I want to tell you about your Nanny - whom you call Popo. You may not be able to remember your first two years when you grow up, so this letter will help you to remember who she is.

She is a very kind and cheerful lady, to whom Daddy & Mummy are truly grateful.

We were deciding between Infant care and Nanny before Mummy went back to work. Your grandparents from both sides are not living in Singapore. You are only 3-month old, such a small baby. We can’t imagine leaving you at Infant care without one-to-one attention, staying in your cot or rocking chair most of the time. You are also not a very fast-eater so it takes some time and patience to let you finish your bottle. With all these worries in mind, Daddy & Mummy decided to find you a good Nanny near our neighborhood to look after you.

Finding a good Nanny in the neighborhood depends purely on luck and trust. There is no agency to call, no newspaper to flip, no website to search. We don’t know any parents who can recommend one as well. We prayed hard. We even printed out some small flyers to put at lift lobbies and mailboxes. There is no news.

Then one day, as we were walking around the neighborhood again, we met one group of grannies gathering at one block, they are all at your grandma’s age. We casually asked if any of them might be interested. And there she is, your Nanny, she said she can help. She has been looking after her own grandsons for the past few years and they have just moved to Hong Kong one month back. She is free now but without kids around the house she felt empty and lonely. She likes Kids. And She likes being active. So she is willing to help. We have very good first impression of her. She looks like one of the youngest among the group, and she looks cheerful and lively. Even the other grannies commented that she takes care of kids really well; we were lucky to find her.

She has been looking after you for almost one year now, and we have never regretted the decision.

Kah Yen & her Popo

She follows your feeding and nap routines diligently; even if it means she has to change her own activities to fit into yours.

She cooks porridge for you for three hours, and she insist on cooking it fresh for every meal.

She takes out all the toys she kept for her grandchildren. You have more toys at her place than at home.

She hand-washes your clothes everyday.

She gives you a warm shower and makes you smell really good before Mummy picks you up everyday.

She brings you to see doctor when you are not feeling well and Daddy/Mummy can’t come back in time.

She is the one assures Daddy/Mummy everything is normal when you are sick and we are overly concerned.

She also gives assurance to Daddy/Mummy when we have questions about your development/milestones. She never had one negative comment about your growth, she always believes you are thriving.

She bought you nice dress on your birthday.

Her son, who always comes to pick up her primary school going daughter in the evening, plays with you and buys you toys and clothes. He said you make him want to have one more child.

Her daughter, who works in Hong Kong, bought you winter clothes when she knows you are going back to China for Chinese New Year. She brought you gifts as well when she comes back.

Her two grandsons, they are back from Hong Kong and now attend Kindergarten and come to her house in the afternoon. They simply adore you and always involve you in their play, as if you are their real MeiMei.

They always fight with each other when they are alone, but in front of you, they transform into really loving KorKor. Even their father is so surprised that he regretted he did not give them a little sister.

And many more…

We thank God for her and her family.

We thank God for you too, for we know that you have been a blessing to her too, in your own ways.

Love,

Mummy

Letters to Kah Yen: The Nine Months

Dear Kah Yen,

You did not make a big announcement when you come. When I found out that I am pregnant, you are nearly 8 weeks old.

There is no sign of morning sickness, no vomiting, no nauseaness. I had none of these common pregnancy symptoms at the early stage. Only 5-6 weeks into the pregnancy I became extremely emotional, without knowing that it is the pregnancy hormone change. Those days I was very negative about my work, thinking that’s the worst job one could ever has and gives you no prospects at all. I also felt very lonely and very in need of more love. Your daddy has just quitted his job in Singapore and went to Malaysia to work for 3 months. I missed him a lot. One weekend I went down to KL to visit Daddy, Daddy made me try his favorite Penang Laksa. It is supposed to be very nice but the spice certainly does not go along with a pregnant woman’s tummy, so I felt terrible after eating it, and also felt terrible that I must have made your Daddy feel really bad.

Physically there isn’t any change from the outside yet. I continued my weekly jogging. I usually run for about an hour without much a problem, but that few times something just felt not right in the stomach. I struggled to finish the run and couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with my body.

The emotional hormone, the unusual tiredness during jogging, and also the growing appetite and cravings all point to one common suspect – pregnancy. However, I quickly shook off this idea from my head and refused to do any test. Why? It’s because we have not planned to start a family yet and we have done all the necessary protection. I just don’t think it is possible and don’t want to accept a single possibility of it. It must be something else.

Finally, in an attempt to rule out the possibility, I bought the pregnancy test kit, and the result is positive.

It is a big BANG for both of us. We did not plan to start a family so early. Our marriage has just started and we still need time to build on it. We have not saved enough to buy our first house. Daddy just quitted his job a month ago and has not landed on another steady one. Both of us are still young, I have just passed 25. We still have dreams of traveling around the world – both of us love backpacking. We couldn’t process this news very well. It came like a big storm, thundering and all windy, for a while we don’t know how to move forward.

The rainbow did not appear right after the storm, but peaceful weather does come our way. After the initial struggle, and talking with some older couple friends, we started to embrace the pregnancy. We can’t believe we are going to be parents. We started to see you as the biggest gift of our lives. And we know that although you have changed the track of our lives forever, you will bring great joy and blessing to us.

Mummy & Kah Yen @ 37 weeks

The rest of the nine-month is filled with excitement, joy and expectations. We started regular visits to the clinics for check-up. Our gynae used to be your Daddy’s aunt’s gynae, so guess how old and experienced he is, which also means he is overly popular. We usually spent a whole afternoon waiting for our turn to be checked, the check up lasted no more than 20 mins. We also enrolled ourselves in prenatal classes conducted by very famous B. B. Wong at Thomson Medical Center. Her class is supper popular and we are very lucky to have called at just the right time. She is funny, experienced and passionate about childbirth and childcare. Her class is never boring. And she also makes sure the husband will be actively involved in the class too. That’s how your Daddy learnt to give you a bath and change your diaper. 

While B. B. Wong’s class focuses more on childbirth and childcare, we are also very fortunate to be included in a lesson group volunteered by a couple from our church, also friends of your daddy.  The lesson is called ‘Growing Kids God’s Ways (GKGW)”, also commonly known as “BabyWise’ by the same author. It is centered on Parent Directed Feeding (PDF) and emphasizes a lot on building a feed/wake/nap routine for baby to raise a healthy baby, a healthy family. This lesson is truly God-sent. I would say that much of my confidence being a mum is a result of these lessons.

Daddy is also getting more and more excited with your arrival. He talked and read to you every night. He bought CDs to play to you. He wrote letters to you on our shared journal. He made breakfast on weekends so that I can sleep in a little more. He also accompanied me for swimming every week till my swimming suit can’t fit any more.

All shopping was done, your nursery was set up, and a date was fixed for me to have Caesarean section because you are in breech position. We had also made wishes of which part of you will be more like Daddy or Mummy. Daddy wished you will have Mummy’s lips while I claimed you would have your Daddy’s sparkling eyes, Daddy’s tall nose, and Daddy’s thick and black and naturally curl hair.

And we can’t wait for your arrival.

Love,
Mummy